Ficlet: Here there is still room for you (Becksillas)

[dfotw]

Title: Here there is still room for you

Summary: a Becksillas piece set after David’s visit to the Bernabeu to watch the match again Recreativo de Huelva.

Warnings: Slash, angst. The usual.

Rating: PG-13

Wordcount: 430

Disclaimer: if this had happened, and I knew about it, I’d keep the secret close to my heart and never disclose it. In other words, not true.

A/N: because I’m so impressionable that adorerdollylux’s entry on ontd_football about these two almost made me cry. Credit for finding out about this scene goes to her and her sources!
Yes, this could have been a happy, romantic piece. No, it isn’t.





“Here there is still room for you.”

Anyone who heard you stammer this, anyone who even heard about this second-hand, should have been able to taste the desperation dripping from those words. It was obvious to you, to him, to anyone, that you weren’t just talking about the changing room, the team, football.

You shouldn’t have said it. You know that very well. You knew it even before he gave you a small, fake smile charged with reproach and walked away under the pretence of exchanging quips about the Serie A with Fabio. But seeing him in the changing room again made you believe for a moment that time hadn’t come between you. There was a second in which you truly thought that you’d have a quick shower and a quicker goodbye kiss and that the next day the groundskeeper would be shouting you off the pitch because you always stay too long after the others have left, trying to prolong your time together.

As he walks away, you remember that your time together came to an end years ago and that now, when the groundskeeper sees you sitting at your goal, long after the end of training, and shouts, “Don’t you have a home to go to?”, you can honestly answer that no, that your home and your dreams and your smile left with him.

Yet he comes back... he comes back to taunt you with what you had, and lost. He comes back with his perfect suits and his perfect smiles, parading his perfect life in front of the ruins that he made of yours. And instead of hating him, of turning away from him and giving him the cold shoulder he more than deserves, you simper an offer you know he will refuse, like a lovesick teenager yearning after the most popular boy in class.

You feel just as inadequate now as you did when you were together. He always made you feel like that, vulnerable and strong, perfect and lacking, humble and proud. One of the reasons (yes, you have *reasons*, a whole list of them, beautifully rationalised and classified) why you loved him as much as you did (as you do) is because of how you could never find anyone, or anything, who took you to the heights and lows he did.

He did. He doesn’t now, and he never will again.

Not matter what you offer him, it will never be enough to lure him back into that place by your side he never should have left empty.

So, why are you still offering?

Comments

[dropsofcoffee.livejournal.com]

Beautiful writing, really.

This just hurts in all the right places.

He comes back with his perfect suits and his perfect smiles, parading his perfect life in front of the ruins that he made of yours.
Oh God. So true.

[art-blake.livejournal.com]

Wooh, I'm excited someone is writing them again! When I started to really get into football, Backsillas was already over (haha, how that sounds...), but I'd still love to read about them, as I think of Becks as the one and only for Casillas (though I like Iker/Cesc a lot, too).
I liked your story. It portrays Iker and David almost exactly how I picture them together, David being the dominating and Iker the inferior one (phrases like Anyone who heard you stammer this...' just perfectly describe Iker's addiction and vulnerability).
Aah, David, why did you ever leave?

[oh-so-blase.livejournal.com]

it hurtssssssssss! =/

but it is lovely and it's them. *sigh*
♥

[inesdelsol.livejournal.com]

Lovely...
I miss them too.

[tempered-rose.livejournal.com]

Ouch. This hurt. =(

[sophiamoon.livejournal.com]

This is seriously gorgeous melancholic.

[adorerdollylux.livejournal.com]

ohgod, tragic. tragic and beautiful and star-crossed, that's david and iker. he needs to come back so badly, back to his family (they loved him best, i know they did). this is gorgeous and thank you so much for writing it. really and truly. <3

[jungle-moon.livejournal.com]

Oh my..I can't stand anymore of Sad and Hurt Iker/Becks..but I still read this coz I missed them!

Thank you anyway for writing them..but I think it's time for more of happy Iker/Becks, otherwise why did Beckham go to the match in the 1st place, purposely looking gorgeous in his suit, just to watch his old team, if not to see his all time and true love playing live for one more time, this time wholly as a spectator?

Yeah..I'm overreacting here..but I just love them so much. Cheers! ;>

[bassino.livejournal.com]

wow This is great!..I love this part
"You feel just as inadequate now as you did when you were together. He always made you feel like that, vulnerable and strong, perfect and lacking, humble and proud." PERFECT


I’m new to this fandom, however I have to confess that now I’m completely hooked.I wish their stories were a little bit more longer..but they are always so short, *snif* :/ - Is this a common characteristic of football slash fiction?
BTW, is there any sort of community where one can make a request!

Thanks for this wonderful fic.

[casi-casi.livejournal.com]

Ohh, this is beautiful and so heartbreaking. Really well written, and totally tugs at the heartstrings but in a very real way; not overdramatic or stylised.

you truly thought that you’d have a quick shower and a quicker goodbye kiss and that the next day the groundskeeper would be shouting you off the pitch because you always stay too long after the others have left, trying to prolong your time together
That made me smile.

The whole piece speaks so wonderfully of incompleteness and longing and sad desperation. I really liked it.

[drbillbongo.livejournal.com]

*sniffles* That is beautifully sad. God, I feel so sorry for poor Iker. Nobody, especially not him, deserves to go through something like this, it's just awful. :( And yet it happens all the time, people move on, and leave ruins behind. Wonderfully written, very insightful, and so lovely - in a very sad way.

*adds to memories*

[lobazul.livejournal.com]

Increíble.

Fic que define perfectamente lo que siento respeto al Becksillas. Y en segunda persona, que es un estilo que directamente me mata. Qué bien lo describes, y cuantísimo me duele ver a este Iker tan vulnerable y tan inseguro, tan enamorado de un tío al que nunca podrá volver a tener. Ayns.

Pobre Iker, ahora que lo pienso, su vida últimamente es un drama XD

En fin, me ha encantado el fic ^^. Suerte para esta noche.

[a-minor-third.livejournal.com]

So sad, yet such gorgeous prose. I truly love your writing style. I also love how you can manage to express Iker's feelings in a few hundred words.

Hoping to read more of your work! Keep on writing and never give up at what you do. :)