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dfotwTitle: Here there is still room for you
Summary: a Becksillas piece set after David’s visit to the Bernabeu to watch the match again Recreativo de Huelva.
Warnings: Slash, angst. The usual.
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 430
Disclaimer: if this had happened, and I knew about it, I’d keep the secret close to my heart and never disclose it. In other words, not true.
A/N: because I’m so impressionable that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
adorerdollylux’s entry on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
ontd_football about these two almost made me cry. Credit for finding out about this scene goes to her and her sources!
Yes, this could have been a happy, romantic piece. No, it isn’t.
“Here there is still room for you.”
Anyone who heard you stammer this, anyone who even heard about this second-hand, should have been able to taste the desperation dripping from those words. It was obvious to you, to him, to anyone, that you weren’t just talking about the changing room, the team, football.
You shouldn’t have said it. You know that very well. You knew it even before he gave you a small, fake smile charged with reproach and walked away under the pretence of exchanging quips about the Serie A with Fabio. But seeing him in the changing room again made you believe for a moment that time hadn’t come between you. There was a second in which you truly thought that you’d have a quick shower and a quicker goodbye kiss and that the next day the groundskeeper would be shouting you off the pitch because you always stay too long after the others have left, trying to prolong your time together.
As he walks away, you remember that your time together came to an end years ago and that now, when the groundskeeper sees you sitting at your goal, long after the end of training, and shouts, “Don’t you have a home to go to?”, you can honestly answer that no, that your home and your dreams and your smile left with him.
Yet he comes back... he comes back to taunt you with what you had, and lost. He comes back with his perfect suits and his perfect smiles, parading his perfect life in front of the ruins that he made of yours. And instead of hating him, of turning away from him and giving him the cold shoulder he more than deserves, you simper an offer you know he will refuse, like a lovesick teenager yearning after the most popular boy in class.
You feel just as inadequate now as you did when you were together. He always made you feel like that, vulnerable and strong, perfect and lacking, humble and proud. One of the reasons (yes, you have *reasons*, a whole list of them, beautifully rationalised and classified) why you loved him as much as you did (as you do) is because of how you could never find anyone, or anything, who took you to the heights and lows he did.
He did. He doesn’t now, and he never will again.
Not matter what you offer him, it will never be enough to lure him back into that place by your side he never should have left empty.
So, why are you still offering?
Summary: a Becksillas piece set after David’s visit to the Bernabeu to watch the match again Recreativo de Huelva.
Warnings: Slash, angst. The usual.
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 430
Disclaimer: if this had happened, and I knew about it, I’d keep the secret close to my heart and never disclose it. In other words, not true.
A/N: because I’m so impressionable that
adorerdollylux’s entry on ontd_football about these two almost made me cry. Credit for finding out about this scene goes to her and her sources!Yes, this could have been a happy, romantic piece. No, it isn’t.
“Here there is still room for you.”
Anyone who heard you stammer this, anyone who even heard about this second-hand, should have been able to taste the desperation dripping from those words. It was obvious to you, to him, to anyone, that you weren’t just talking about the changing room, the team, football.
You shouldn’t have said it. You know that very well. You knew it even before he gave you a small, fake smile charged with reproach and walked away under the pretence of exchanging quips about the Serie A with Fabio. But seeing him in the changing room again made you believe for a moment that time hadn’t come between you. There was a second in which you truly thought that you’d have a quick shower and a quicker goodbye kiss and that the next day the groundskeeper would be shouting you off the pitch because you always stay too long after the others have left, trying to prolong your time together.
As he walks away, you remember that your time together came to an end years ago and that now, when the groundskeeper sees you sitting at your goal, long after the end of training, and shouts, “Don’t you have a home to go to?”, you can honestly answer that no, that your home and your dreams and your smile left with him.
Yet he comes back... he comes back to taunt you with what you had, and lost. He comes back with his perfect suits and his perfect smiles, parading his perfect life in front of the ruins that he made of yours. And instead of hating him, of turning away from him and giving him the cold shoulder he more than deserves, you simper an offer you know he will refuse, like a lovesick teenager yearning after the most popular boy in class.
You feel just as inadequate now as you did when you were together. He always made you feel like that, vulnerable and strong, perfect and lacking, humble and proud. One of the reasons (yes, you have *reasons*, a whole list of them, beautifully rationalised and classified) why you loved him as much as you did (as you do) is because of how you could never find anyone, or anything, who took you to the heights and lows he did.
He did. He doesn’t now, and he never will again.
Not matter what you offer him, it will never be enough to lure him back into that place by your side he never should have left empty.
So, why are you still offering?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 01:05 pm (UTC)This just hurts in all the right places.
He comes back with his perfect suits and his perfect smiles, parading his perfect life in front of the ruins that he made of yours.
Oh God. So true.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 01:49 pm (UTC)Becksillas just hurts in all the right places, really... when I saw Becks on the news, with his sharp suit, sitting on the stands and watching the match... plot-bunny bit me right then.
Thank you for your comment!
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 01:30 pm (UTC)I liked your story. It portrays Iker and David almost exactly how I picture them together, David being the dominating and Iker the inferior one (phrases like Anyone who heard you stammer this...' just perfectly describe Iker's addiction and vulnerability).
Aah, David, why did you ever leave?
no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 01:51 pm (UTC)David being the dominating and Iker the inferior one... --- yes, for all they were adorable together, they always struck me as a distinctly unbalanced couple... a thought that was reinforced when Becks left Iker behind. Why, David, why?!
Thanks for commenting!
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Date: 2009-04-22 02:39 pm (UTC)but it is lovely and it's them. *sigh*
♥
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Date: 2009-04-22 02:46 pm (UTC)Thanks for the comment!
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Date: 2009-04-22 03:36 pm (UTC)I miss them too.
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Date: 2009-04-22 05:17 pm (UTC)I'm very glad you liked this!
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Date: 2009-04-22 05:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:19 pm (UTC)I guess I just had to spread the hurt...
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Date: 2009-04-22 06:27 pm (UTC)It just...you know...hurt.
*hugs* I'm sorry you got hurt in the process. :(
By the by, I saw your icon and about fainted.
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Date: 2009-04-22 10:48 pm (UTC)(and when I saw the Elle photoshoot this icon is lifted off, I did faint!)
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Date: 2009-04-23 12:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 04:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-22 10:52 pm (UTC)(let's bring Becks, Iker needs him!)
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Date: 2009-04-22 10:54 pm (UTC)Thanks for your comment!
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Date: 2009-04-23 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-23 05:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-23 11:44 am (UTC)Thank you anyway for writing them..but I think it's time for more of happy Iker/Becks, otherwise why did Beckham go to the match in the 1st place, purposely looking gorgeous in his suit, just to watch his old team, if not to see his all time and true love playing live for one more time, this time wholly as a spectator?
Yeah..I'm overreacting here..but I just love them so much. Cheers! ;>
no subject
Date: 2009-04-23 04:08 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Date: 2009-04-24 12:52 am (UTC)"You feel just as inadequate now as you did when you were together. He always made you feel like that, vulnerable and strong, perfect and lacking, humble and proud." PERFECT
I’m new to this fandom, however I have to confess that now I’m completely hooked.I wish their stories were a little bit more longer..but they are always so short, *snif* :/ - Is this a common characteristic of football slash fiction?
BTW, is there any sort of community where one can make a request!
Thanks for this wonderful fic.
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Date: 2009-04-24 07:23 am (UTC)No, my stories aren't always this short (a few weeks ago I posted something nearly 4,000 words long... ugh!), and there are true 30-chapters-or-more epics to be found out there... it's only that I needed to get this piece out of my head as quickly as possible!
I think the mods wouldn't say anything if you made a request in
Once again, thank you for reading and commenting on this!
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Date: 2009-04-25 10:50 pm (UTC)Thanks once again
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Date: 2009-04-27 08:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-25 06:42 am (UTC)you truly thought that you’d have a quick shower and a quicker goodbye kiss and that the next day the groundskeeper would be shouting you off the pitch because you always stay too long after the others have left, trying to prolong your time together
That made me smile.
The whole piece speaks so wonderfully of incompleteness and longing and sad desperation. I really liked it.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-25 05:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-28 03:48 pm (UTC)*adds to memories*
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Date: 2009-04-29 08:19 am (UTC)I know, I know, life's so unfair for some people... and poor Iker just had to be one of them. I feel very sorry for him, so I just had to write this... ::is guilty of making people cry::
I'm glad you liked it, though. Thank you for the lovely comment!
no subject
Date: 2009-05-06 02:58 pm (UTC)Fic que define perfectamente lo que siento respeto al Becksillas. Y en segunda persona, que es un estilo que directamente me mata. Qué bien lo describes, y cuantísimo me duele ver a este Iker tan vulnerable y tan inseguro, tan enamorado de un tío al que nunca podrá volver a tener. Ayns.
Pobre Iker, ahora que lo pienso, su vida últimamente es un drama XD
En fin, me ha encantado el fic ^^. Suerte para esta noche.
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Date: 2009-05-07 07:06 am (UTC)... pero me alegro que te haya gustado!
(estoy segura de que el que nos hayas deseado suerte anoche ha sido lo que nos ha salvado!)
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Date: 2009-05-31 04:02 am (UTC)Hoping to read more of your work! Keep on writing and never give up at what you do. :)
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Date: 2009-06-01 07:39 am (UTC)